Castiel is very still for a moment, just gulping in air and clinging to whatever holds him up, not even all that aware that it's Sam - though of course it is, who else could it possibly be? Castiel can still taste water in his mouth, though, brokenly whispers his safe words three times, and finally tries to pull back, needs to be let go so he can come back to himself for a moment now that Sam has taken the brutal edge of panic away.
Castiel curls away from everything, closes his eyes. Doesn't hear what, if anything, Sam says to James, just murmurs Leviathan under his breath every now and then, while reminding himself: The Leviathan are gone. He can breathe. He can die, too, but not right now. Right now he's safe, he can breathe, he's not drowning. Except he can still feel the way James put too much weight on his throat, can feel the exact shape of the bruise this will leave.
Castiel doesn't notice that once Sam has James out of the room, someone from staff immediately blocks the half-closed door - not closed all the way, not until Sam is back, in case that isolation is worse for Castiel. The guy stands there to shield him from prying eyes until his dom can return, and Castiel would be grateful if he wasn't struggling to pull himself into back into functioning properly. It's just all too much, and he feels disgusted with himself, with the red stripes on his skin that someone else left, with the slick feeling between his legs that wasn't driven there by Sam but by a stranger, with how he's allowed someone else to touch him, brought this upon himself. And now the collar weighs too much, feels too tight all of a sudden, and Castiel wants nothing more than to be home, wearing Sam's clothes and burrowing into Sam's sheets, somewhere unquestionably safe.
no subject
Castiel curls away from everything, closes his eyes. Doesn't hear what, if anything, Sam says to James, just murmurs Leviathan under his breath every now and then, while reminding himself: The Leviathan are gone. He can breathe. He can die, too, but not right now. Right now he's safe, he can breathe, he's not drowning. Except he can still feel the way James put too much weight on his throat, can feel the exact shape of the bruise this will leave.
Castiel doesn't notice that once Sam has James out of the room, someone from staff immediately blocks the half-closed door - not closed all the way, not until Sam is back, in case that isolation is worse for Castiel. The guy stands there to shield him from prying eyes until his dom can return, and Castiel would be grateful if he wasn't struggling to pull himself into back into functioning properly. It's just all too much, and he feels disgusted with himself, with the red stripes on his skin that someone else left, with the slick feeling between his legs that wasn't driven there by Sam but by a stranger, with how he's allowed someone else to touch him, brought this upon himself. And now the collar weighs too much, feels too tight all of a sudden, and Castiel wants nothing more than to be home, wearing Sam's clothes and burrowing into Sam's sheets, somewhere unquestionably safe.
He needs Sam.