He licks his lips, fingers clenching a little on his leg. This part is... difficult, but Castiel appreciates the necessity and the effect. Because this isn't about blind devotion to a higher purpose. This isn't Heaven - this makes much more sense than Heaven. This is just, and good, a purification for them both.

"You told me to wait for you by the bar. I deliberately approached a man I knew would be amenable to my looks. I let him touch me, and let him believe I was available for sexual intercourse with him. I not only failed to follow your comman, but I was disobedient on purpose, to chastise you when it was not my place, and to get your attention when it needed to be elsewhere."

Castiel licks his lips.

"I disobeyed because I want your punishment. For that, I am sorry."