It's a shaky confession, and maybe here is not the best place to make it. But maybe here, right now, is the only place he can confess it. His fingers tighten on Sam's arm. He's pathetically weak. Not a damsel, maybe, but he's never been human. All his strength has come from his Grace, and whatever remained has been systematically beaten out of him by Jason.
"I just wanted peace and order and for things to make sense. Sam. Sam, why did I ask for this? I didn't know..."
He's rambling a little, looking up into Sam's eyes, than over and into Dean's, expecting and maybe even fearing judgement. He hasn't gotten the chance to articulate his thoughts and desires with someone who understood and respected, yet. Jason understood that Castiel was a sub, needed to be a sub, and exploited that fact, but never understood why or how Castiel needed that lifestyle.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2014-07-10 11:54 pm (UTC)It's a shaky confession, and maybe here is not the best place to make it. But maybe here, right now, is the only place he can confess it. His fingers tighten on Sam's arm. He's pathetically weak. Not a damsel, maybe, but he's never been human. All his strength has come from his Grace, and whatever remained has been systematically beaten out of him by Jason.
"I just wanted peace and order and for things to make sense. Sam. Sam, why did I ask for this? I didn't know..."
He's rambling a little, looking up into Sam's eyes, than over and into Dean's, expecting and maybe even fearing judgement. He hasn't gotten the chance to articulate his thoughts and desires with someone who understood and respected, yet. Jason understood that Castiel was a sub, needed to be a sub, and exploited that fact, but never understood why or how Castiel needed that lifestyle.