Castiel is shaking by the time Sam puts him down, still feeling oddly disconnected from himself, even though the pain, at least, is pronounced and very easily taken note of. He still has to lean against Sam.

And he dreads the moment Sam has to help him, has to...

Castiel can't even think it right now, has to focus on something else for a little while. Like how bad he is as a human. That he's failed at being an angel, a hunter, a human, a sub.

"Please don't let Dean see."