"I didn't want to ask for help. Even now, in the end... I didn't want to... I thought it was all normal, all good. I still question what I did."

It's hard to shake that thought of... doing wrong, disappointing his dom. It's so ingrained in him by now, such a step back to his old ways, instead of a comfortable relinquishing of control.

Castiel falls silent then. Still stays close to Sam, but turns his head, so that while he's still leaning on the other man's shoulder, he's looking away from him. Just needing to be on his own in this situation for a while, though he stays perfectly relaxed.