Now I'm strong and I won't kneel/Except to thank who's watching over me

[fromfryingpantofire]

It had been a very long day so far. For Sam, that day mostly meant waiting, fidgeting with the present in his hands.

More than a few of the others had watched him as they waited, wondering what he was doing here and, more than once, Sam had found himself wondering the same. The Novaks were a family with a lot of wealth and a lot of connections, political and otherwise. He'd done his research. The family was full of Alphas and Betas, insinuated into massive companies and running more than a few of their own. They were old money and old power and most of those who had come to court were the same.

Not Sam. Certainly, the Winchesters were an old family, but they weren't wealthy by a long shot. They were involved in law enforcement, which wasn't exactly a rich occupation to begin with. Sam was going to law school, but his interest wasn't in making money but in helping people and putting away those who abused their positions and their power. But, long ago, John Winchester had made a promise to the Novak family because Mary Campbell had mated him rather than Michael Novak. That one of his children would be offered as a mate to the Novaks should there be a compatible one. It had been a sop, meant to quiet tensions between the families but nobody had thought much of it. Dean had been a Beta and Sam had been an Alpha and that seemed that.

Until the Novaks threw an Omega. Not unheard of, but rare. And, suddenly, Sam seemed to be the one Winchester with a chance, small enough though it might be.

He started when he heard his name called, pulling himself to his full height with the present clutched in his hands. He followed Zachariah Novak trying to ignore the feeling of unworthiness. He was an Alpha from a good line. There was no reason, other than money, to think he didn't have a chance here.

Comments

[fromfryingpantofire]

The tension doesn't leave Castiel, really, and Sam's not certain how much he really LIKES the submission in the nod. But he knows that it's how Castiel knows to act and he was warned by Gabriel, at least as much as his friend could warn him.

Gabriel nods to Castiel, glancing to Sam as he goes to sit down. "Always glad to come and partake of Ellen's food. Especially anything she's made pie."

Dean snorts as he sits. "You get pie last, Gabriel."

Which gets Dean smacked by Ellen on the way past. "Guests get served first, Dean, you know that."

And it makes Sam laugh as he pulls Castiel's seat out for him again. "Keep that up, Dean, and you might be getting your pie last."

There's still tension around the table, but Sam thinks it helps. He sits down, reaching out to take Castiel's hand under the table.

[freetobe]

Something heavy settles in Castiel's chest when he realizes that not only is Gabriel a a silent business partner, but a very vocal and welcome guest in the household. It makes sense, of course, but it doesn't help the feeling of dread settling in his stomach.

His uncle had been the one all about scheming and making plans, plotting how best to use Castiel to his advantage. So Gabriel has bought himself into a pack that Zachariah disapproves of, and helped Sam win over Castiel's sympathies and affections through inside information. Is he wrong about Sam? Has he been fooled, has Sam merely played the part Gabriel must have known Castiel would respond well to? To what end? Perhaps to spite Zachariah, to one up him. Castiel wonders if he's just a pawn for a different game now. Gabriel must know how valuable an omega from the Novak pack is, no matter how disgusted Zachariah said he was.

Disgusted enough to leave when Castiel presented.

Disgusted enough to aid Sam into manipulating Castiel's choice?

Castiel sits with his back straight and eyes demurely lowered to the table in front of him. Brows slightly furrowed in thoughts that can't be read on his face, stoic and impassive now. His hand stays still under Sam's for a moment before he subtly shifts it away, under the guise of having to pick up his eating utensils.

He's no longer quite so sure about his choice, needs to think about the implications of Gabriel's presence, needs to figure out the game that's being played here and how to adapt to its rules in order to survive his year here, now that their union is no longer something based on mutual affection, but potentially a family feud. He learned to adapt to Zachariah's game, learned to survive it so far. He can work with this new twist, too.

Castiel picks at his food and eats very little, nerves flaring, stomach heavy with dread. Showing good manners, he does compliment Ellen's cooking, of course, and means it. It's not luxury food, but Castiel has never been one too define good food by the cost of its ingredients of the complexity of the dish. Ellen's cooking has heart and soul.

It's Castiel who feels too empty to bear the weight of it, and who hopes the conversation at the table will move around him instead of involving him, much like it did for years in the Novak household.

[fromfryingpantofire]

They may not be connected by the mating bite yet, but Sam can feel the tension in his mate-to-be. There's nothing much he can do about it right now, unfortunately. Bringing Gabriel over might have been a bad idea, at least this early, but he had hoped that it would make things easier for Castiel.

Sam reached over when he could, taking Castiel's hand to try to soothe him. Not that it seemed to be working.

He would have looked over Castiel's head to try to get a read off of Gabriel, but the other man was too short for that to work. Obviously, he should have seated his friend across the table instead.

Conversation went on with a couple of attempts to draw Castiel into it, but leaving him alone when it became clear that he wasn't in the right mood to join in. Dessert was brought out and, once that was over, people started drifting their own ways for the night. All of them with an admonishment from Ellen to have their best clothes ready for the next day.

Sam runs his hand back through his hair. "I guess this is going to be good night, then." It isn't even traditional for the Omega to eat supper with the clan they're joining the night before, but Sam had hoped...

Well. None of that really matters right now, does it? "Are you going to be okay tonight?"

[freetobe]

Castiel feels guilty for his distance, though he can't bring himself to show it yet, or beg forgiveness. Not until he's figured out what game is being played on him, exactly. He wants to believe that Sam feels genuine affections for him, wants it badly - he chose Sam based on that belief, based on a crazed desire for a year of being with someone who values him.

Finding out that someone is partners with a person who's disgusted by Castiel's very being is... unsettling.

"I will be. Sleep well, Sam. Tomorrow is an important day for you."

he steps closer for a moment, letting Sam breathe his scent, letting himself be embraced loosely. Then he withdraws and leaves after another lingering look. Walks to the guest house without waiting to see if Gabriel follows, because he know his cousin will come with him.

Castiel wonders how repulsed Gabriel is by this task, how much the Novak alpha has to bear for whatever deal he might have struck with Sam.

"I'm not afraid of you," he says once the door of the guest house closes behind them. Gabriel is an alpha - but they used to be so close. Castiel was afraid of Zachariah, Luke, Michael. Never Gabriel. Castiel crosses his arms, and stands firm and tall, the anger obvious in his eyes now that they're alone. "So tell me. Did you not have enough money to seal the deal with the Winchester pack, or did you manipulate the courting as an afterthought merely to spite Zachariah?"

[fromfryingpantofire]

This Castiel is so very different from the one that Gabriel saw in the house, but maybe he should have expected that. After all, after the past several years with Zachariah, Gabriel had expected what he'd seen in the house.

Sam had said that Castiel had fire in him. He's glad to see that it wasn't stamped out.

Though it still makes him blink for a moment to have that fire aimed his direction. "I...what?" It takes his own brain a moment to kick into gear and then Gabriel frowns. "All I did was give Sam some gift suggestions. Anything that happened during courting was all him. All I wanted was for you to have an option that didn't already have their hand halfway in Zachariah's pocket."

[freetobe]

"So it was just to spite Zachariah, then? You're unbelievable. I thought you above games like that, Gabriel." Castiel shakes his head and turns around, walks to the bedroom that holds his bags, but lingers in the doorway, shoulders tense. This isn't the first time he's been wrong about Gabriel, but it doesn't sting any less for it. "Consider yourself free of your position. We both know there is no need for an honor guard, and we both know you have no wish to be in my company." Castiel's tone is still clipped, but the hot anger has drained from it. What he's talking about now is not a raw, fresh wound, but an old pain that he's learned to live with. A pain he's trying to hide from Gabriel by attempting a retreat to a bedroom he can actually shut and lock behind himself.

[fromfryingpantofire]

"It wasn't JUST to spite Zachariah and what do you mean, I have no wish to be in your company?" Shit, what HAD his uncle told Castiel. "Cassie...I didn't want to leave. Hell, I've been researching every way I could for the last four years to possibly get guardianship of you away from Zachariah. Not to spite him but because you deserved better than what he wanted for you. Hell, I'd have gone straight to court if Zachariah hadn't been very, very clear about what would happen to you if I stepped a toe out of line."

[freetobe]

He stops in the doorway, irritated with the situation, but mostly confused. He doesn't like being confused, being a person of reason and order. Castiel turns his head, looks at Gabriel over his shoulder.

"You left because you were disgusted at seeing me turn out to be nothing more than an omega. For a year, I wrote you letters every day, and had them sent to wherever you were rumored to be at the time. I don't appreciate your games, Gabriel."

[fromfryingpantofire]

"I left because Zachariah said that if I didn't, he was going to see you mated to Crowley immediately." Gabriel clenched his hand into fists but let them go almost immediately. The nervous energy had to go somewhere. "I didn't care that you were an Omega except for the way that Zachariah was handling it. I got some of your letters, though. I wrote back when I did. Every one of them came back to me as 'Return to sender'." Gabriel crossed to his bag, reaching in and pulling out a bundle of envelopes. "Michael and Luci...they wouldn't have stopped Zachariah making whatever deals he wanted where you were involved. You were only fourteen and I may be an Alpha, but I'm low man on the totem pole where our family is involved. The only chance you had at growing up was if I left."

[freetobe]

For a while, Castiel is silent. It's difficult to read what's going on in his face.

He's been lied to, and he's not sure how to handle the knowledge that all he felt and experienced in the last four years was based on that. Zachariah made it so believable. Even encouraged Castel to write, though he always warned him that the letters might not be received well.

He spent 4 years missing Gabriel and ultimately being angry and disappointed with him.

He doesn't know what to say. But there's one thing Gabriel probably should know.

"He was going to let Crowley into my bed anyway. The courtship was designed for someone of Zachariah's choosing to breed me." He swallows. "You left for nothing."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gabriel walks over, placing the letters in Castiel's hand. "Maybe that's how he designed it, but he never counted on you being your usual self and wanting more. Just the way that I always showed you when we were kids."

Sure, back then, Gabriel had been trying to show his cousin that there was more to being an Alpha than what the family said there was, that there were other, better ways to treat an Omega. But it served a different purpose in the end, showing Castiel that there was better to be expected, too. "What you have right now...it's not perfect. But if anybody in this world can make it work, you and Sam can."

[freetobe]

Castiel hesitates a moment, but ultimately takes the letters from Gabriel. Looks at them for a moment, the irrefutable truth that Gabriel didn't abandon him - not like Zachariah claimed, anyway. He's not sure how to respond to that. Were he more well adjusted, he might hug Gabriel. But he's not, he's been raised away from physical affection.

"It was my choice."

Half a statement, half a question. A statement - because he needs this to be choice, something he could decide on his own, something he could take for himself. And half a question, because he needs to believe that Gabriel didn't play him like Zachariah tried to play him.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gabriel nods, smiling at his cousin. "It was your choice. All I did was give Sam some gift ideas. The rest of it was all him. Whatever you saw during the courting? That's Sam. That's the man you picked above the others. And he's also someone I've been proud to call my friend the past couple of years."

[freetobe]

"Thank you, Gabriel."

He hesitates for a moment, so used to not speaking his mind, to keeping his emotions close to himself so as not to let anyone see, as is proper for an omega of his birth. But things are different here. He can be different here, if he so chooses. It all boils down to the option to choose for himself, for the first time in his life, and only for this one precious year.

"I was disappointed in you for a long time... I'm glad I got the chance to learn the truth now. It might not be necessary here, but... I'm glad to have you as my honor guard."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gabriel nods. "To be honest? I was pretty disappointed in myself, too. But I didn't have the tools to fight back against them to help you. Probably still don't, really, but I'll do what I can." He smiles at Castiel. "But. Tonight is still young and we have a lot of catching up to do. How about I make some tea and we go sit on the back porch to talk?" The porch away from the main house, because it was considered bad luck to be seen by your Alpha between the pre-wedding meal and the wedding itself.

Sure, it was dumb, but if they were going to be traditional, might as well go all the way.

[freetobe]

A little tradition is a good thing for Castiel right now. Everything's changing rapidly, throwing him off course. It feels good to do something he knows about, when the rules of his entire life are currently changing, and he hardly has a grasp of what the coming day, much less the near future will bring.

"I think I would like that. Thank you, Gabriel."

They sit and talk maybe a little longer than Castiel should have stayed up, but he's grateful for it. It means by the time he sleeps, he's almost too tired to worry a lot, to think about his duties in Sam's bed, about pain and blood and the more humiliating tradition of presenting the sheets for inspection. He's worried that Zachariah will show up demanding proof of that the day after tomorrow, or that he will show up tomorrow after all to insist on the archaic tradition of a public mating. More than anything, Castiel hopes he'll be spared that.

Still, the next morning comes too soon, and finds him digging through his things. There's not a lot he has these days, and most of the space was taken up by the tailored, pure white suit now resting on the bed for him to put on.

Castiel doesn't think he can eat, nerves nibbling at him and refusing to let him feel calm. The white suit makes him look the part of the pure, untouched omega, but it also makes him look like a statue. He'll like cold and dead among a pack that's alive and warm, and he's not sure how to cope with even that tiny little detail.

He will probably spill wine on himself trying to ease his nerves for the duties he has to perform at night.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gabriel keeps up the conversation even when Castiel is too nervous to keep up his end. It's all right, though. Gabriel's used to being the talker, anyway.

But he takes one look at the suit laid out on the bed and tsks softly. "Yeah, that's not going to do. I mean, I know you have to wear it and all, but...that's going to wash you out entirely." Castiel's skin tone is naturally tanner and his hair is dark, but that much white is just not...good. "It's a good thing I packed with this in mind."

He goes to his own bag and starts looking, finally pulling out a small box. "It's not much, but I thought you could use a pre-wedding gift."

Inside the box is a tie and pocket square, along with a set of cuff links. The pocket square and tie are the same deep blue, meant to set off Castiel's eyes. The cufflinks are silver, with sapphire chips in one corner of each. "If nothing else, it'll break up the color a bit."

[freetobe]

The suit is the only thing Castiel's old pack has sponsored for the wedding, and not even that was designed in order for Castiel to enjoy himself, or even look particularly good to his new pack. it's only fitting that gabriel of all people contribute to it, too, and add some color to it.

Castiel's face relaxes and softens for a moment, almost into a fond little smile. There's some warmth in his eyes, at least. It might take a while for him to grow more expressive, but until then, if one knows where to look, they can see enough in his face as it is.

He leaves Gabriel alone for a few minutes to don the suit and his gifts, walks out and examines himself in a full body mirror. The suit is perfectly tailored, highlighting his body subtly and just right, and the deep blue highlights are much needed to break it up. Castiel thinks he looks... he doesn't know about desirable in the lustful sense, but he thinks he looks desirable as in 'well groomed, a mate one would be glad to take'.

"Your gifts are lovely, Gabriel. I'll wear them with pride."

And isn't that how the old saying goes? Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. The suit is new, and the gifts are blue, so at least he'll have half the blessing to bring into the wedding.

"Do you think Sam will be pleased?"

[fromfryingpantofire]

"I think Sam will be happy to see you there, not what you're wearing." The second, panicked conversation had cinched it for Gabriel. He'd fallen hard for Castiel and he was glad to see his friend and his cousin together. Even if he knew the restrictions in the contract. "If I'd realized they'd go with quite that strict an interpretation of tradition, I'd have gotten you another shirt, too."

Anything else to break up the white. "Now. Too more things." Gabriel went into his case and brought out another box. "Old and borrowed in the same thing. It's allowed. I asked." Or something like that. Gabriel opens the box and offers Castiel a watch. "This one's been in the family for a while. Chuck gave it to me before he went off to find himself. I'll want it back after the wedding, of course, but I think you should wear it today."

There were things that Gabriel couldn't tell Castiel, not yet. But that time would come. The less he had dropped on him at the moment, the better.

[freetobe]

"You've thought of everything."

What Castiel can't say, because he doesn't trust his voice to carry through it, is that had Gabriel not been a part of this, he'd have stood out there truly alone. No honor guard, no one on his side of the family, not even trinkets on his person traditionally given to the omega by the pack they're leaving behind.

Gabriel is giving him a family. Has played a large part in making it possible Castiel finds a new one, and still has his old one with him. The better part of it, at least.

"It's a beautiful watch. I'll take good care of it."

It sits well on a slim wrist, and Castiel feels calmer for some bizarre reason. He's not superstitious - it's just that his nerves are soothed by the simple, but oh so important gesture.

"I think I'll just... just sit here, until they're ready for me."

He doesn't want to do anything else. Just sit calmly and quietly, let his mind wander to blankness so his nerves won't return to ruin him. And then walk down the aisle to be given to Sam Winchester. His alpha.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gabriel smiles at him. "All right. Let me go get dressed and I'll join you. They'll send somebody to get us when they're ready."

The house is chaos, of course. While there had been some plans in place, there'd been nothing quite ready to be put into motion on such short notice. Ellen and Dean have been in the kitchen since early morning to prepare food for after the wedding. Charlie had roped Ash and Kevin into helping her get the chairs and the grove decorated for the wedding. Bobby's gone to get the judge for the ceremony and Sam's...

Sam's mostly been pacing when he hasn't been on the phone with Adam, assuring the youngest Winchester that he wasn't actually missing much and, should this all work out in the end, that there would be a second ceremony and Adam would be able to be there, he PROMISED.

All too soon, though, he and the others are dressed and headed out to the grove, not far from the houses. Ash is sent for Gabriel and Castiel while Kevin mans the camera. Any pictures that are sent to Zachariah will have to be ones where Gabriel isn't in them, but that's an easy enough fix.

Sam does his best to put it out of his mind, tugging at his tie until Dean slaps his hands and checks it for him before moving to the side as his best man and beta. His hair's been pulled back today, the suit not tailored but definitely customized because Sam is far too tall for off the rack without some changes being made. The suit itself is a dark grey, tie and pocket square a matching silvery grey. It's maybe not perfect, no, but he's hoping that Castiel will like it.

The judge clears her throat and Sam looks up, catching his first sight of Castiel since the night before.

[freetobe]

Castiel is nervous. He's been prepared for this moment, for fulfilling the first of his two purposes in life (to get married, the other being to procreate). Yet he can't deny the flutter of nerves. Maybe because this isn't just a cold ceremony in a cathedral, there are no reporters here, and of course, the entire Novak clan is absent, with the exception of Gabriel.

That means Castiel gets to be nervous, because it's more intimate, less rehearsed. He thinks he likes the slight tingly of nerves, but hopes they don't show on his face.

Later, some people will wonder if he hesitated the moment his and Sam's eyes met across the distance. The truth is that Castiel forgets everything he's supposed to do when he sees his future mate standing there, strikingly handsome, with warmth in his eyes, and a wonder that Castie suspects must be reflected in his own.

He swallows, takes a breath, and then joins Sam by the altar as he's supposed to.

No hesitation. Just a moment to appreciate the sight of everything the Winchesters are providing for him.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam reaches out, taking Castiel's hand as soon as he's close enough. It might not be common in Novak weddings, but Sam finds himself really wanting to just touch his soon to be mate.

It was something that Sam was very much conscious of, that this was not anything like what Castiel had to have been expecting for his wedding. But the sun was out and the sky was clear. Maybe there weren't many people there, but once Jo found her seat by her parents, everybody who really cared at the moment was there.

The ceremony itself is short, more a formality than anything else. But everybody still cheers when the judge says to kiss and Sam smiles at Castiel before he bends to kiss his new mate.

There's pictures to be taken, of course, but it isn't very long before everybody heads into the house and Ellen and Dean rope Jo and Ash into helping to get food onto the table. Sam stays close to Castiel, keeping touching him as much as possible. Because it's nice to be able to really do so.

[freetobe]

The touch is much appreciated, grounding as it turns out to be. Castiel feels that he can face the rest of the day the moment Sam's larger hand wraps around his. And that, he thinks, is probably a good sign for them.

The wedding is decidedly unspectacular in a way that Castiel likes. It feels intimate. He's used to too large dining rooms, where no two family members sit next to one another, too large entrance halls, where it's impossible to stand close to someone without seeming exceptionally rude. This is... quite lovely, actually. He enjoys nature, and the bees flitting about.

He enjoys Sam's lips, warm and soft against his own. This part, at least, doesn't feel like duty, and when Sam makes to pull away from the kiss, Castiel leans in, pressing their mouths together again much to the crowd's delight. It only lasts a heartbeat or two before Castiel pulls away too, cheeks slightly pink, but it pleased him.

When everyone heads inside, they linger outside a little longer, reluctant to join the crowd and leave this little bubble that belongs to them.

Castiel straightens Sam's tie, smoothes down a stubborn lapel. "It seems we just got married, Sam."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam's more than happy to let the rest of the group head inside first, giving him a few moments with his husband. The matter-of-factness, though, makes Sam laugh as he reaches up to run his fingers over Castiel's tie as well. "So it would seem, Castiel."

He hadn't even felt nervous, once Castiel was beside him. Sure, it might only be a short reprieve, but Sam isn't thinking about that at the moment. There's still a year ahead of them and plenty of time to find a way to keep Castiel with him.

He bends, pressing another kiss to the corner of Castiel's mouth. "Should we go in and greet the family?"