I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones/Enough to make my systems blow

[fromfryingpantofire]

It's been six months since Sam had last gone out in Archangel Sword. Not that anybody ever calls her that; the Jaeger's name is "Baby" according to Dean and always will be. Most of that has been in recovery from the last fight. The Jaeger had been damaged when it took out the Kaiju -- codenamed "Ruby" -- and Sam's life support system had been flooded with Kaiju blood.

Sam doesn't remember it. Doesn't remember the fight at all, really. He'd been comatose for a month afterward, waking to find things had changed. He'd changed. Literally, actually, because he can't connect with Dean in the drift any more. Nobody's certain what happened, whether it was lack of oxygen or something in the Kaiju blood that Sam ingested while trying to breathe, but the result is the same. Sam can't drift with Dean any longer.

There's no good reason why he can't find somebody else to drift with again, though, which is why he's been in the kwoon combat room at least once every few days for the past two weeks. Now that Sam's back up to scratch, getting him back out into a Jaeger is important. Luckily, Dean had found a new drift partner fairly quickly, a newish recruit named Castiel. They'd taken to each other so easily that Sam almost couldn't feel too bad about being sidelined.

Almost.

He sighs, rolling his shoulders as he walks into the kwoon room, having been ordered there by Marshall Singer. Probably to face off against more new recruits.

"Marshall Singer," he says, kicking off his shoes at the edge of the mat before looking around and letting his eyes catch on the only other person in the room.

Comments

[redeemedhimself]

Putting on the drive suit is like wrapping himself in the embrace of an old friend. A feeling Gadreel never thought he'd experience again and when he sees Sam smiling at him like that - he can't help but smile in return, a warmth kindling in his chest as they ready themselves.

A test drift. Not in a fully powered Jaeger, but enough for them to link, to share their minds, a part of themselves. If it works, they'll be allowed to take a Jaeger out. A new one or even an older one, he doesn't care. If he can make a stand with Sam, then they will make a stand.

"Yes. I believe I am."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam grinned, turning toward the pod and nudging Gadreel's shoulder. "Left or right?" The right-hand driver was the one in command, generally, the lead in the Jaeger. Sam had always been the left hand with Dean and he didn't have a problem with it, so it would depend a lot on what Gadreel wanted. Or what damage might be left from the destruction of Eden.

[redeemedhimself]

Uneasily, his hand drifts up to his right shoulder. The damage had healed after Eden, but the argument had been made that his command decisions had been wrong - that he had been the reason for Eden falling and Lucifer breaking through. Shaking the worry off Gadreel nodded at the question. "Left."

He trusted Sam to lead, trusted him to take command of the Jaeger they were going to take into battle.

Funny how quickly it all comes back, as they settle into the pod and the connections are made. It was time. One more breath, a nod at Sam and Gadreel let the drift wash over him like a river. Flowing and easy.

[fromfryingpantofire]

There's damage on Sam's body as well, though he doesn't let it on. Gadreel will find out soon enough about the scars fried into his left side when the drive suit shorted out from the wash of Kaiju blood.

Stepping into place in the pod is almost like coming home. It's only all the way there once the neural handshake is initiated and the drift is established. He knows that Gadreel can see everything and he doesn't hold back. If this is going to work, they can't hold back from each other. They have to work in tandem, be one person or near enough.

So he lets Gadreel see everything: the house in Kansas where he and Dean started their lives, but which burnt down soon after the first Kaiju attack in the resulting panic inland. The first tests where his parents were found to be drift compatible with each other. They never loved him and Dean less for it, but they had less time afterward, leaving Dean to raise Sam mostly on his own. Then the tests that found the brothers to have some of the highest compatibility scores out there. Then their training and the first time they took Baby out.

The coma was a long, dark space where nothing much was. Sam didn't even remember the actual Kaiju fight except in flashes. He was lucky he wasn't brain dead.

[redeemedhimself]

The handshake initiated, Gadreel closed his eyes and allowed the drift to flow over him. Sam shows him everything, holding nothing back and Gadreel opens himself up to Sam. Life as an orphan in Haven, finding brothers after a terrifying battle that had leveled most of the city near the Shatterdome. Laughing with Gabriel, throwing himself wholeheartedly into training when he'd learned that he was drift compatible with Eve. The battle with the Kaiju, making one bad call, one bad decision.

A bad decision that had cost a good pilot her life, destroyed half of the city and resulted in a court martial. Living in disgrace, so certain that it had been his fault.

He wanted to make it right, wanted to stand with Sam and follow where he led. He's ready. They both are.

[fromfryingpantofire]

It's almost too easy to let it all wash over him and come out the other side, but Sam relaxes into the drift with ease. It's not that different from the first time that he'd drifted with Dean, after all, except that there's more about Gadreel he's just learning for the first time.

Once the drift settles, Sam looks over to Gadreel and grins, his elation zinging through the drift. It works!

[redeemedhimself]

Finally. Elation sings across the drift and Gadreel grins back at Sam, joy reflected back at him. They can do this. It's different than the drift he'd first shared with Eve, but just as easy to sink into, to allow Sam to wash over him.

They did it. They're going to take a Jaeger out in the field again.

Gadreel reaches over to take Sam's hand. Finally. He's complete again. Whole.

[fromfryingpantofire]

The touch, even through the drive suits, helps settle Sam more than anything else. He and his brother rough housed, but touching for the sake of just touching wasn't really a thing they did, even outside of the drift. Maybe especially outside of it. It wasn't necessary there, though.

Here, though, with everything so new and different if familiar? Sam squeezes Gadreel's hand back.

[redeemedhimself]

The drift meant that they were more intimately connected than any form of touch could provide. But Gadreel thrived on the contact, needed it to cement the contact through the drift.

"Thank you Sam."

Another pilot duo, likely that meant a party in the pilot's quarters that night. A chance to simply spend more time with Sam. They knew one another intimately now thanks to the drift, but they could still attend, talk to the other pilots as they waited for another inevitable attack.

[fromfryingpantofire]

It would be a good time for Gadreel to get to know Dean. He already knew Castiel, but that was a bit different from knowing Castiel and Dean together.

After the party, there would be time to sort out new living arrangements. They didn't have to share the same quarters, though a lot of pilots did. But living near each other would help the drift a lot.

Their thoughts were interrupted by Marshall Singer. "We're going to disengage the drift, boys. And congratulations."

[redeemedhimself]

There was a momentary pang as the drift disengaged, as they pulled away and became themselves again. But there would be other drifts, going out in a Jaeger and standing the line. For now there was a party to attend and a chance to get to know the rest of Sam's family. Dean. Castiel. He knew them through the drift and at least distantly as pilots.

Living arrangements would be easy - Gadreel had been alone long enough. Sharing living space with Sam would simply be an extension of the drift. Another way to share everything he was with Sam.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam grins when Gadreel chooses to move into his room. Which is, of course, near Dean. Even if they can't drift any longer, they stay close.

"I hope you don't mind, but...we're going to have to requisition another bed for in here," he says when Gadreel enters with his bag. Neither of them have much stuff, really. "I mean, it's a king size bed, so there's room enough for us both for the time being."

[redeemedhimself]

Gadreel is looking forward to meeting Sam's brother, and spending more time with Castiel. Even if they've never met, thanks to the drift it already feels like he's known Dean all his life.

A smile as he tucks his bag beneath the bed. He doesn't own much, just a few changes of clothes, some letters from Gabriel and a salvaged piece of Eden. A reminder of how far he's come and the second chance he's being given. Thanks to Sam.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I don't take up that much space."

[fromfryingpantofire]

It's about the same that all pilots own. Though Sam has a few other bits. Reminders of home, for instance. And a couple of toys. Not all pilots collect the playsets of their own Jaegers, but Sam does. Or, at least, he has a few: his parents' Jaeger and Baby. And the figures. Because it just seemed right at the time.

"Okay, dude. I'm not that much taller than you, so I know that's a lie." Still, Sam grins. "You're allowed to take up space, Gadreel. Especially when you belong here."

[redeemedhimself]

The toys get a curious examination, but he understands why Sam has kept them. Mementos of those that he'd known, those that he'd known and cared about in the past. Perhaps one day soon, he'd venture down into the market to pick up a model of their Jaeger for Sam.

A slightly abashed smile as he straightens. "I'm sorry. I am.. not used to belonging anywhere. But this is nice. It feels like home."

[fromfryingpantofire]

"That's okay. I think, sometimes, we forget as pilots that we're allowed to have our own space, that we're not just extensions of somebody else." It was something that Sam had gotten a serious reminder of over the past six months. Something that Gadreel had likely felt as well. "And thanks. This place has been important to me lately. I like having a good place to fall back to when things get to be too much."

[redeemedhimself]

"It is easy to forget that we are made of more than just the drift and our abilities in the Jaeger," he agrees, sitting on the corner of the bed to study one of the figures. "Even more so when our ability to drift is taken away."

But that's all in the past. They're able to drift, which means they can fight again. Be a part of something greater. "It is a warm, quiet place. That can be just as important."

[fromfryingpantofire]

"Having it taken away from me forced me to remember that," Sam replies, walking over to sit next to Gadreel. "Reminded me that piloting isn't my only skill. I probably would have started working my way up to marshal soon enough, honestly. Or maybe start working on one of the support teams." Anything to stay relevant, really.

[redeemedhimself]

Reaching, Gadreel rested his hand on Sam's. Something he had considered himself, trying to find some way to contribute if he'd remained unable to pilot another Jaeger. "I had been training on one of the repair teams in the evenings. To learn how to care for them if I could no longer drift."

That way he could assist, but remain in the shadows, further away from the pilots, away from those who still blamed him for his failure with Eden. "Perhaps one day you will still make Marshall."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam turns his hand over, threading their fingers together. Intimate, maybe, but liking the clearer connection between them. "That's good. Probably something we should both learn, anyway. I mean, there's nothing wrong with pilots working with the repair teams. Dean does it all the time." His brother's far more mechanically minded than Sam is, though.

He tilts his head slightly in a half shrug. "Maybe. Marshalls tend to be former pilots who can't pilot anymore. I think I'd be glad enough to wait on that."

[redeemedhimself]

"As would I," he agrees, looking down at their hands as they're joined together. They had already shared intimacy in the drift, shared everything that they were. What was something so simple as holding hands?

"There may be times when we need to affect smaller repairs on the Jaeger in a battle, or at least monitor the systems better. Perhaps it is something we can both learn together as we wait for the rift to go active again?"

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam nods eagerly, smiling widely. "Exactly. I mean, we might not be able to do a lot, but something is better than nothing." Being able to fix a leak in the coolant or the respiration system might save them some day, after all.