He's as damned as he seems/And more Heaven than a heart could hold (NSFW)

[fromfryingpantofire]

To be honest, Sam hadn't done this since Stanford. Well, not properly. There had been a few times over the years where they'd be close enough to a town that had a kink club that he could go play for an evening, but it had never been right. Not like things had been with Jess. And even then, there had only been play. No sex in the clubs, though. It just never felt right without the emotion behind it.

That, however, was before Gadreel came into his life. The angel had been a prisoner in Heaven and Sam knew a bit of what that was like. It had given them something to bond over and had led to Sam slowly falling for the angel.

Other things had come later, after a lot of discussion. Things like the collar that Gadreel wore and often hid through use of his powers. Not because he was ashamed, but because Sam had told him that humans often didn't understand these sorts of things. Angels probably wouldn't, either, especially given the Enochian engraved into the metal.

Having been out of the scene for so long, though, meant Sam still does a lot of research on things, along side his usual research on the supernatural. Which means that the easiest place to find him most days is still the library, where he's head deep in the books on the table. A sound at the door has him looking up and pushing back from the table a bit. "Gadreel? You need something?"

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[redeemedhimself]

Sam kept him grounded in so many ways. It was more than giving him a home on Earth, more than giving him a place in his life and in his bed, more than even the calming weight of cool silver around his neck that reminded him that he was wanted. That he belonged.

Gadreel was his, he would always be his.

But on days when it grew difficult to think, when an angel visiting Castiel reacted to him in disgust and anger, those were the days he needed Sam the most. He needed that firm hand reminding him that he was cared for. That he was wanted.

His body is radiating tension in the doorway, hating himself for the weakness, hating his own brethren for making him feel that way. Instinct drove him to the one human who could quiet the chaos in his mind and his grace.

Gadreel's steps carried none of their usual grace as he stumbled forward, pitching to his knees beside Sam and dropping his eyes to the floor.

He doesn't know what he needs - he only knows that he needs Sam.