Now I'm strong and I won't kneel/Except to thank who's watching over me

[fromfryingpantofire]

It had been a very long day so far. For Sam, that day mostly meant waiting, fidgeting with the present in his hands.

More than a few of the others had watched him as they waited, wondering what he was doing here and, more than once, Sam had found himself wondering the same. The Novaks were a family with a lot of wealth and a lot of connections, political and otherwise. He'd done his research. The family was full of Alphas and Betas, insinuated into massive companies and running more than a few of their own. They were old money and old power and most of those who had come to court were the same.

Not Sam. Certainly, the Winchesters were an old family, but they weren't wealthy by a long shot. They were involved in law enforcement, which wasn't exactly a rich occupation to begin with. Sam was going to law school, but his interest wasn't in making money but in helping people and putting away those who abused their positions and their power. But, long ago, John Winchester had made a promise to the Novak family because Mary Campbell had mated him rather than Michael Novak. That one of his children would be offered as a mate to the Novaks should there be a compatible one. It had been a sop, meant to quiet tensions between the families but nobody had thought much of it. Dean had been a Beta and Sam had been an Alpha and that seemed that.

Until the Novaks threw an Omega. Not unheard of, but rare. And, suddenly, Sam seemed to be the one Winchester with a chance, small enough though it might be.

He started when he heard his name called, pulling himself to his full height with the present clutched in his hands. He followed Zachariah Novak trying to ignore the feeling of unworthiness. He was an Alpha from a good line. There was no reason, other than money, to think he didn't have a chance here.

Comments

[freetobe]

Of course he's welcome. There isn't a pack in the world that wouldn't welcome an omega like him in with open arms. Well... until they know he won't give them the offspring they want, naturally.

"Thank you, Sam. I appreciate your kindness. Then and now. You're... a good man. A good alpha."

A good mate, Castiel thinks. He deserves much better than what he gets from Zachariah.

"I've never been around many omegas. I was told they were... competition I should not associate with."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam snorts and shakes his head. "Well, you really don't have to worry about that with Ellen. She only has eyes for Bobby and even if she didn't? She practically raised me and Dean. Besides that, I have better control of myself than that." The only Omega he wanted was Castiel, after all. Which was the first time that had happened, really.

"Ellen's a good person, too. You'll get along great with her, I think."

[freetobe]

"I'll be looking forward to our acquaintance, then." He means it. Castiel knows this is a very different life from the one he's used to. He knows he has a lot to learn in order to be a part of this pack. His uncle might think Castiel will spend his time on his beck, letting Sam breed him, but the young omega is well aware there will be more to his life than that.

He's just... not quite sure what all of that entails just yet.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Once they reach the house, Sam kisses Castiel's cheek and says he needs to go to his office for a while. To make the various phone calls that are needed to set things up for the next day.

Which is when Ellen swoops in to take Castiel's arm with a promise to get him settled. Which includes a cup of tea and a promise to let him come to her garden and see what she has planted. Because nobody else in the pack is anywhere near as into gardening as Ellen is. Though she does promise, with a wink, that she'll wait at least a couple of days after the wedding before dragging him out to the garden.

Once that's done, there's another trip out to the cottage with Castiel's bags to help get him settled in. Most of Sam's stuff has been migrating out over the past week, so while the cottage isn't exactly lived in, yet, it's not sterile. There are definitely signs of life there. The pack is still getting the place wired for cable and internet, but Ellen makes certain Castiel knows he's welcome at the main house at any time. Even if he might have to share the TV in the common room with Charlie and Kevin gaming.

By the time they get back to the main house, the rest of the pack has arrived home. And Sam is out of the office so that he can make the necessary introductions. The pack is fairly small, really, running heavily to Betas (Charlie, Kevin and Ash), with Jo the only other Alpha in residence, though Sam mentions a younger half brother in college who is an Alpha as well.

All too soon, it's time to sit down for supper, the table expanded for the new seating arrangement. Though, by the time everybody sits, it's obvious that somebody is missing, with the chair on Castiel's other side being empty as yet.

[freetobe]

Castiel has been raised very differently, and it becomes immediately obvious in the way he talks to people. He's overly stiff, formal, can come across as stoic and cold. He tries, though. Listens, even if the staring seems to put people off. Overall, he says very little. He's quiet, contemplative.

He doesn't fit in, but then, nobody expected that immediately. It's not his fault, and it's not their fault, and it will come with some time, perhaps. Charlie finds him dreamy, which he supposes is a compliment, Dean claps him on the back, and overall he feels... well, tolerated, which in any other situation would possibly sound unpleasant to say about your new pack, but for Castiel means more than his own pack has given him.

When they sit down, he frowns at the empty seat next to him, then places his hand on Sam's next to him, looks at him with a slightly puzzled expression.

"Is there someone I haven't met yet, or did you accidentally include my uncle in the arrangement after all?"

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam grins at him. "No, I didn't include your uncle in the arrangement. There's a guest that should be arriving soon. He really should have been here by now--"

He's cut off by a knock at the door.

"I got it," Dean says, as he's seated closest to the door out of the dining room. Once he leaves the room, Sam gets to his feet, one hand on Castiel's shoulder as he waits.

The man who returns with Dean is a good several inches shorter than the older Winchester, with blond hair and hazel eyes that look almost golden amber in the light of the house. He's young, maybe three or four years older than Castiel himself, more of an age with Sam himself.

Sam grins, looking down at Castiel. "Castiel. I'd like you to meet our silent partner in the Winchester Agency. Gabriel Novak."

[freetobe]

Castiel sits in stunned silent for a long moment, merely staring at the cousin who'd been so important, and who'd left. The only member of the Novak family who'd had Castiel's back for as long as he can think, and he dares to say he can think back very clearly.

He remembers being nestles into Gabriel's side, peering at the pages of his favorite book as Gabriel read it. He remembers being pranked, but never maliciously, always in ways that made him laugh, too, once he got over having his pride bruised gently. He remembers Gabriel's spirit being whittled down as Michael and Lucifer fought, worse once they presented as alpha and had even more natural aggression to back them up. He remembers how Zachariah was trying to use those three as pawns in his business strategies, something their father, Chuck, couldn't even object to.

Castiel remembers so much that he tried not to think of ever since Gabriel left, because it would have hurt too much. Because Gabriel didn't mean it when he said he'd always have Castiel's back... because Gabriel walked away without looking back, and it still stings. And it can't be coincidence that he left when Castiel presented and shamed his pack by being nothing more than omega, even though Gabriel always advertised for their rights.

Sam standing behind him with a hand on his shoulder is a blessing. It reminds Castiel that he needs to keep his composure above all else. He can't crack. "Gabriel," he says, and if his voice is a little rougher than usual with unknown emotions, it's hard to tell for sure. Castiel is tense under Sam's hand. It's not a negative reaction. He just... he doesn't know what to do with all this, right now.

He doesn't know how he feels about seeing Gabriel, so he closes himself off, tries to be calm and dignified.

"Hello, Gabriel..."

There's something unsure in his voice as he greets his cousin, something that thinks nothing fits together right now, not as seamlessly as it had for a while now. He doesn't know what to make of it. Doesn't know how to react. So he doesn't.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gabriel had warned Sam that this might not be a good idea. Sam didn't know everything that happened to make Gabriel leave home, of course. It hadn't been important at the time. Feeling the tension in his future mate's shoulders, though, Sam wonders if maybe he should have asked before.

The man in question has the decency to look abashed before squaring his shoulders. It's not the swagger that Sam's used to seeing from him, but it's closer to normal. "Hey, Cassie. Glad to see you out and away from the rest of them."

Sam rubs his thumb along the back of Castiel's neck. "We can move seating around, if you want that. Though I figured you guys could talk things out tonight, anyway, since Gabriel's volunteered to be your honor guard."

It's an old, old tradition and not much called for these days. Most Alphas aren't going to try to sneak into the bed of their mate, after all, and weddings are usually carefully planned to fall between the Omega's heat and the Alpha's rut. This one isn't as carefully planned, but it has worked out that way. But in this case, Sam had thought the tradition would be a good way to let Gabriel and Castiel have time to talk on their own. Yes, technically their pack was meant to provide somebody to act as honor guard as well, but Sam doesn't think it'll be necessary.

On the other hand, it might all go down the crapper at the moment, too.

[freetobe]

The presence of an honor guard relieves Castiel. It's not that he doesn't trust Sam - in fact, Castiel thinks he has a good enough grasp of who Sam Winchester is to know he would never, ever sneak into Castiel's room before their wedding unless Castiel asked, and maybe not even then.

Still, it's a comfort. Honor guards are a traditional part of weddings, and Castiel has already been robbed of most everything else he's supposed to get at a wedding. It's not much omegas are supposed to get in their life time - home schooled from the moment he presented, he's missed a lot of experiences his peers had, and he's not supposed to get more out of life than breeding and raising the offspring from home. The wedding is the one thing he was supposed to have according to even the most conservative traditions... and Zachariah denies him most of it. And when Zachariah gets his way, gets Castiel out of this marriage and into Crowley's bed, there won't be a second marriage either, just a mating bite, because they wouldn't want to call attention to Castiel needing a second wedding.

He's not sure yet how he feels about the identity of his honor guard, though he can't deny having missed Gabriel. He opens his mouth to respond, trying to recall his instructions on proper behavior. He's the leading alpha's mate-to-be for now, so he stands, nods at Sam slightly while keeping his neck slightly inclined in submission. Then he pulls out the free chair for Gabriel to take.

He wants to say 'It was you. Sam gave me that book because of you', because it has to be that way - he can't quite figure out the why of it yet, though. But he can't do that at the table, it would be disrespectful to his mate, to Gabriel - higher in rank than Castiel - and to all other members of this pack - also ranking higher than him while he remains unmated.

"Please, sit" is all he says.

[fromfryingpantofire]

The tension doesn't leave Castiel, really, and Sam's not certain how much he really LIKES the submission in the nod. But he knows that it's how Castiel knows to act and he was warned by Gabriel, at least as much as his friend could warn him.

Gabriel nods to Castiel, glancing to Sam as he goes to sit down. "Always glad to come and partake of Ellen's food. Especially anything she's made pie."

Dean snorts as he sits. "You get pie last, Gabriel."

Which gets Dean smacked by Ellen on the way past. "Guests get served first, Dean, you know that."

And it makes Sam laugh as he pulls Castiel's seat out for him again. "Keep that up, Dean, and you might be getting your pie last."

There's still tension around the table, but Sam thinks it helps. He sits down, reaching out to take Castiel's hand under the table.

[freetobe]

Something heavy settles in Castiel's chest when he realizes that not only is Gabriel a a silent business partner, but a very vocal and welcome guest in the household. It makes sense, of course, but it doesn't help the feeling of dread settling in his stomach.

His uncle had been the one all about scheming and making plans, plotting how best to use Castiel to his advantage. So Gabriel has bought himself into a pack that Zachariah disapproves of, and helped Sam win over Castiel's sympathies and affections through inside information. Is he wrong about Sam? Has he been fooled, has Sam merely played the part Gabriel must have known Castiel would respond well to? To what end? Perhaps to spite Zachariah, to one up him. Castiel wonders if he's just a pawn for a different game now. Gabriel must know how valuable an omega from the Novak pack is, no matter how disgusted Zachariah said he was.

Disgusted enough to leave when Castiel presented.

Disgusted enough to aid Sam into manipulating Castiel's choice?

Castiel sits with his back straight and eyes demurely lowered to the table in front of him. Brows slightly furrowed in thoughts that can't be read on his face, stoic and impassive now. His hand stays still under Sam's for a moment before he subtly shifts it away, under the guise of having to pick up his eating utensils.

He's no longer quite so sure about his choice, needs to think about the implications of Gabriel's presence, needs to figure out the game that's being played here and how to adapt to its rules in order to survive his year here, now that their union is no longer something based on mutual affection, but potentially a family feud. He learned to adapt to Zachariah's game, learned to survive it so far. He can work with this new twist, too.

Castiel picks at his food and eats very little, nerves flaring, stomach heavy with dread. Showing good manners, he does compliment Ellen's cooking, of course, and means it. It's not luxury food, but Castiel has never been one too define good food by the cost of its ingredients of the complexity of the dish. Ellen's cooking has heart and soul.

It's Castiel who feels too empty to bear the weight of it, and who hopes the conversation at the table will move around him instead of involving him, much like it did for years in the Novak household.

[fromfryingpantofire]

They may not be connected by the mating bite yet, but Sam can feel the tension in his mate-to-be. There's nothing much he can do about it right now, unfortunately. Bringing Gabriel over might have been a bad idea, at least this early, but he had hoped that it would make things easier for Castiel.

Sam reached over when he could, taking Castiel's hand to try to soothe him. Not that it seemed to be working.

He would have looked over Castiel's head to try to get a read off of Gabriel, but the other man was too short for that to work. Obviously, he should have seated his friend across the table instead.

Conversation went on with a couple of attempts to draw Castiel into it, but leaving him alone when it became clear that he wasn't in the right mood to join in. Dessert was brought out and, once that was over, people started drifting their own ways for the night. All of them with an admonishment from Ellen to have their best clothes ready for the next day.

Sam runs his hand back through his hair. "I guess this is going to be good night, then." It isn't even traditional for the Omega to eat supper with the clan they're joining the night before, but Sam had hoped...

Well. None of that really matters right now, does it? "Are you going to be okay tonight?"

[freetobe]

Castiel feels guilty for his distance, though he can't bring himself to show it yet, or beg forgiveness. Not until he's figured out what game is being played on him, exactly. He wants to believe that Sam feels genuine affections for him, wants it badly - he chose Sam based on that belief, based on a crazed desire for a year of being with someone who values him.

Finding out that someone is partners with a person who's disgusted by Castiel's very being is... unsettling.

"I will be. Sleep well, Sam. Tomorrow is an important day for you."

he steps closer for a moment, letting Sam breathe his scent, letting himself be embraced loosely. Then he withdraws and leaves after another lingering look. Walks to the guest house without waiting to see if Gabriel follows, because he know his cousin will come with him.

Castiel wonders how repulsed Gabriel is by this task, how much the Novak alpha has to bear for whatever deal he might have struck with Sam.

"I'm not afraid of you," he says once the door of the guest house closes behind them. Gabriel is an alpha - but they used to be so close. Castiel was afraid of Zachariah, Luke, Michael. Never Gabriel. Castiel crosses his arms, and stands firm and tall, the anger obvious in his eyes now that they're alone. "So tell me. Did you not have enough money to seal the deal with the Winchester pack, or did you manipulate the courting as an afterthought merely to spite Zachariah?"

[fromfryingpantofire]

This Castiel is so very different from the one that Gabriel saw in the house, but maybe he should have expected that. After all, after the past several years with Zachariah, Gabriel had expected what he'd seen in the house.

Sam had said that Castiel had fire in him. He's glad to see that it wasn't stamped out.

Though it still makes him blink for a moment to have that fire aimed his direction. "I...what?" It takes his own brain a moment to kick into gear and then Gabriel frowns. "All I did was give Sam some gift suggestions. Anything that happened during courting was all him. All I wanted was for you to have an option that didn't already have their hand halfway in Zachariah's pocket."

[freetobe]

"So it was just to spite Zachariah, then? You're unbelievable. I thought you above games like that, Gabriel." Castiel shakes his head and turns around, walks to the bedroom that holds his bags, but lingers in the doorway, shoulders tense. This isn't the first time he's been wrong about Gabriel, but it doesn't sting any less for it. "Consider yourself free of your position. We both know there is no need for an honor guard, and we both know you have no wish to be in my company." Castiel's tone is still clipped, but the hot anger has drained from it. What he's talking about now is not a raw, fresh wound, but an old pain that he's learned to live with. A pain he's trying to hide from Gabriel by attempting a retreat to a bedroom he can actually shut and lock behind himself.

[fromfryingpantofire]

"It wasn't JUST to spite Zachariah and what do you mean, I have no wish to be in your company?" Shit, what HAD his uncle told Castiel. "Cassie...I didn't want to leave. Hell, I've been researching every way I could for the last four years to possibly get guardianship of you away from Zachariah. Not to spite him but because you deserved better than what he wanted for you. Hell, I'd have gone straight to court if Zachariah hadn't been very, very clear about what would happen to you if I stepped a toe out of line."

[freetobe]

He stops in the doorway, irritated with the situation, but mostly confused. He doesn't like being confused, being a person of reason and order. Castiel turns his head, looks at Gabriel over his shoulder.

"You left because you were disgusted at seeing me turn out to be nothing more than an omega. For a year, I wrote you letters every day, and had them sent to wherever you were rumored to be at the time. I don't appreciate your games, Gabriel."

[fromfryingpantofire]

"I left because Zachariah said that if I didn't, he was going to see you mated to Crowley immediately." Gabriel clenched his hand into fists but let them go almost immediately. The nervous energy had to go somewhere. "I didn't care that you were an Omega except for the way that Zachariah was handling it. I got some of your letters, though. I wrote back when I did. Every one of them came back to me as 'Return to sender'." Gabriel crossed to his bag, reaching in and pulling out a bundle of envelopes. "Michael and Luci...they wouldn't have stopped Zachariah making whatever deals he wanted where you were involved. You were only fourteen and I may be an Alpha, but I'm low man on the totem pole where our family is involved. The only chance you had at growing up was if I left."

[freetobe]

For a while, Castiel is silent. It's difficult to read what's going on in his face.

He's been lied to, and he's not sure how to handle the knowledge that all he felt and experienced in the last four years was based on that. Zachariah made it so believable. Even encouraged Castel to write, though he always warned him that the letters might not be received well.

He spent 4 years missing Gabriel and ultimately being angry and disappointed with him.

He doesn't know what to say. But there's one thing Gabriel probably should know.

"He was going to let Crowley into my bed anyway. The courtship was designed for someone of Zachariah's choosing to breed me." He swallows. "You left for nothing."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gabriel walks over, placing the letters in Castiel's hand. "Maybe that's how he designed it, but he never counted on you being your usual self and wanting more. Just the way that I always showed you when we were kids."

Sure, back then, Gabriel had been trying to show his cousin that there was more to being an Alpha than what the family said there was, that there were other, better ways to treat an Omega. But it served a different purpose in the end, showing Castiel that there was better to be expected, too. "What you have right now...it's not perfect. But if anybody in this world can make it work, you and Sam can."

[freetobe]

Castiel hesitates a moment, but ultimately takes the letters from Gabriel. Looks at them for a moment, the irrefutable truth that Gabriel didn't abandon him - not like Zachariah claimed, anyway. He's not sure how to respond to that. Were he more well adjusted, he might hug Gabriel. But he's not, he's been raised away from physical affection.

"It was my choice."

Half a statement, half a question. A statement - because he needs this to be choice, something he could decide on his own, something he could take for himself. And half a question, because he needs to believe that Gabriel didn't play him like Zachariah tried to play him.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gabriel nods, smiling at his cousin. "It was your choice. All I did was give Sam some gift ideas. The rest of it was all him. Whatever you saw during the courting? That's Sam. That's the man you picked above the others. And he's also someone I've been proud to call my friend the past couple of years."

[freetobe]

"Thank you, Gabriel."

He hesitates for a moment, so used to not speaking his mind, to keeping his emotions close to himself so as not to let anyone see, as is proper for an omega of his birth. But things are different here. He can be different here, if he so chooses. It all boils down to the option to choose for himself, for the first time in his life, and only for this one precious year.

"I was disappointed in you for a long time... I'm glad I got the chance to learn the truth now. It might not be necessary here, but... I'm glad to have you as my honor guard."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gabriel nods. "To be honest? I was pretty disappointed in myself, too. But I didn't have the tools to fight back against them to help you. Probably still don't, really, but I'll do what I can." He smiles at Castiel. "But. Tonight is still young and we have a lot of catching up to do. How about I make some tea and we go sit on the back porch to talk?" The porch away from the main house, because it was considered bad luck to be seen by your Alpha between the pre-wedding meal and the wedding itself.

Sure, it was dumb, but if they were going to be traditional, might as well go all the way.

[freetobe]

A little tradition is a good thing for Castiel right now. Everything's changing rapidly, throwing him off course. It feels good to do something he knows about, when the rules of his entire life are currently changing, and he hardly has a grasp of what the coming day, much less the near future will bring.

"I think I would like that. Thank you, Gabriel."

They sit and talk maybe a little longer than Castiel should have stayed up, but he's grateful for it. It means by the time he sleeps, he's almost too tired to worry a lot, to think about his duties in Sam's bed, about pain and blood and the more humiliating tradition of presenting the sheets for inspection. He's worried that Zachariah will show up demanding proof of that the day after tomorrow, or that he will show up tomorrow after all to insist on the archaic tradition of a public mating. More than anything, Castiel hopes he'll be spared that.

Still, the next morning comes too soon, and finds him digging through his things. There's not a lot he has these days, and most of the space was taken up by the tailored, pure white suit now resting on the bed for him to put on.

Castiel doesn't think he can eat, nerves nibbling at him and refusing to let him feel calm. The white suit makes him look the part of the pure, untouched omega, but it also makes him look like a statue. He'll like cold and dead among a pack that's alive and warm, and he's not sure how to cope with even that tiny little detail.

He will probably spill wine on himself trying to ease his nerves for the duties he has to perform at night.