I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones/Enough to make my systems blow

[fromfryingpantofire]

It's been six months since Sam had last gone out in Archangel Sword. Not that anybody ever calls her that; the Jaeger's name is "Baby" according to Dean and always will be. Most of that has been in recovery from the last fight. The Jaeger had been damaged when it took out the Kaiju -- codenamed "Ruby" -- and Sam's life support system had been flooded with Kaiju blood.

Sam doesn't remember it. Doesn't remember the fight at all, really. He'd been comatose for a month afterward, waking to find things had changed. He'd changed. Literally, actually, because he can't connect with Dean in the drift any more. Nobody's certain what happened, whether it was lack of oxygen or something in the Kaiju blood that Sam ingested while trying to breathe, but the result is the same. Sam can't drift with Dean any longer.

There's no good reason why he can't find somebody else to drift with again, though, which is why he's been in the kwoon combat room at least once every few days for the past two weeks. Now that Sam's back up to scratch, getting him back out into a Jaeger is important. Luckily, Dean had found a new drift partner fairly quickly, a newish recruit named Castiel. They'd taken to each other so easily that Sam almost couldn't feel too bad about being sidelined.

Almost.

He sighs, rolling his shoulders as he walks into the kwoon room, having been ordered there by Marshall Singer. Probably to face off against more new recruits.

"Marshall Singer," he says, kicking off his shoes at the edge of the mat before looking around and letting his eyes catch on the only other person in the room.

Comments

[fromfryingpantofire]

The grin isn't letting up. Sam's feeling better than he has in all those months since he woke up and found himself unable to drift with Dean any longer. He's going to be giddy with it for a while.

Especially when he realizes that he and Gadreel have fallen into step with one another already.

He shakes his head, looking back at the kwoon before turning back to Gadreel. "Honestly? You're probably going to find yourself on the receiving end of it as well, now. But...it's kind of a term of endearment from him. I mean, it actually means 'idiot', but...well, he mostly raise me and Dean." Sam shrugs. "He's not good at feelings, so that's what works for him."

Not that Gadreel wouldn't find out soon enough that Sam and Dean weren't much better.

[redeemedhimself]

His family wasn't much better with affection, and Gadreel nods easily. They're already walking in sync, movements quick and confident. Two pilots on their way to another Jaeger. A fresh chance.

"Idiot," he ventures. "Well. I've been called far worse by my brothers."

A subtle joke, but at least it's a start. He's already comfortable enough with Sam to make the attempt.

[fromfryingpantofire]

"I've been called a lot worse by my brother." Of course, most of the Shatterdome knew the Winchester habit of calling each other 'jerk' or 'bitch', depending on the Winchester speaking. "He means well. Bobby, I mean. And he's a good man." Sam might have been biased, but he didn't think so.

"Anyway, come on. I learned a long time ago not to drift on an empty stomach. It only makes the hangover worse afterward."

[redeemedhimself]

"He is a good man. One of the best Marshalls in service," he agrees with a nod. It was hardly a secret that the Winchesters tended to have odd names for one another. Gadreel.. he almost found himself looking forward to earning one of his own. Belonging again.

Gadreel's smile widens a bit. "I think I would like that. Something to eat before we drift and wind up sharing that hangover." Not attempt to drift, but succeed at it. They will succeed and be able to stand on the line again.

The cafeteria is wide and expansive and Gadreel is more comfortable in there than he has been in a long while. He can stand beside Sam and not see the other eyes on him. No, his focus is on Sam and how well they're already fitting together. Walking in step, quiet glances that say more than enough.

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam glances over and grins. "I hope you like salads, because you might end up eating a few." Which had always been the thing that Dean bitched about most with drift bleed.

Well, that and the fact that he tended to buy Sam's favorite shampoo, too.

Not that Sam doesn't still have things from drifting with Dean. It would always be there.

Case in point, he picks up a cheeseburger without thinking as he goes through the cafeteria line. "I know we'll find out everything about each other in a little while, but I suppose we should talk first."

[redeemedhimself]

He knows all about the drift bleed. He couldn't eat a fig or an apple without thinking of Eve. She'd loved fruit so much. Gadreel picks up an apple, adding it to his plate and regarding the salads with a curious glance. He'd never considered much in the way of greens, but he picks up a smaller plate of it and adds it to his tray, in addition to a few slices of cheese and nuts. Simple fare, but it was what he preferred.

"Yes. Perhaps that is best that we get to know one another a bit before we drift." Little things they should prepare for, warning signs that they should watch, all of the smaller details that came with a drift. "What would you like to know?"

[fromfryingpantofire]

On the other hand, Sam had learned as a child to eat when he could. Something that definitely served him in good stead in the Shatterdome, when they could be called out at any moment. The cafeteria was open most hours of the day, but Sam did his best to confine his eating to normal meal times. Unless there was a reason for him to miss, like being out in a Jaeger.

Not that he's had to worry about that for a while now.

Sam leads the way to one of the tables, the one where his brother and Castiel often sit. It's as much habit as anything else, but it's a welcoming spot, so far as Sam is concerned. "Well. I don't know much about you from before the Jaeger program. Where did you grow up? I know you mentioned brothers, but any sisters?"

[redeemedhimself]

"I grew up near Haven - at the orphanage there." Sometimes after an attack, the death toll was staggering and there were children left behind with no one to turn to, no family to reach, no one to take care of them. So places like Haven were born, large orphanages for the lost children.

"I was brought there with several of my brothers after a large scale attack on the city. Gabriel, Michael and Abel. I knew Castiel there as well - before he left for the program."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam nods, digging into his salad. "I didn't know that Cas knew anybody else in the program." It really shouldn't have been that much of a surprise, though. "Dean and I are second generation Jaeger pilots. Our parents were among the first to be accepted into the program. They died taking out Yellow-Eyes." A Class IV that had been brought down nearly eight years before. "Dean and I were still in training when it happened. Marshall Singer...Bobby. He'd been a family friend for a lot of years. He took us in when their Jaeger went down."

He blinks and shakes his head. "Do you keep in touch with your brothers?"

[redeemedhimself]

"I'm sorry." And the response isn't the usual, formulaic one. Pilots know what it's like to lose someone on the line, friends, family, even lovers. It was a loss you never really recovered from. You simply grieved and moved on. "I am glad that he was there to take you in and keep you together."

He shakes his head slowly, fiddling with the fig on his plate. "We were never close, and most of them haven't spoken to me since Eden fell. But some of them, it's not their fault. Gabriel, he travels all over the world to find funding for the Shatterdomes, to keep our systems funded and running." A faint, fond smile. "He is.. quite the impressive talker."

[fromfryingpantofire]

"I think I got a chance to talk to him not long after I woke up." Sam hmms as he thinks, poking at his food. "Not in person, over the phone. I remember the name Gabriel, at least, and that he wanted to know if he could use my image and story to help. I didn't have a problem with that."

Even better was the fact that the man had asked. Had asked Dean, too. Their contracts explicitly stated that their images could be used as needed, but it was still nice of the man to ask to do so instead of just doing it.

[redeemedhimself]

Gadreel nods at the story. "Gabriel is a bit like a hurricane, but he means well. He would never manipulate the story of a pilot, or even use it without permission. He is a good man." Easily one of the few brothers that he both cared about and respected. "He sends a tin of chocolate to me every year on my birthday."

"He could never drift, so Gabriel used his gifts in other ways, to help us as best he could." He should write to him, tell his brother that he had found a new pilot, that he had another chance at a Jager.

"Of my older brothers, he is by far the kindest."

[fromfryingpantofire]

"I'm sorry the rest of them aren't so great." Sam shakes his head. "Dean and I were Mom's only children. We have a half brother by Dad. His name's Adam and he's working toward a medical degree in Wisconsin. I know he'd rather be out and helping, but Dean and I have both told him that he'd do best by doing what he always wanted to do."

No use keeping the information about Adam back, after all. Gadreel would find out soon enough. "He's a good kid. We help him out as much as we can, though that's dwindled a lot since funding's been cut." Not to mention pilot pay. "Luckily, he's also damned smart and on scholarships."

[redeemedhimself]

"I have Gabriel. It is enough to have some family." For a moment, Gadreel fiddles with his fork as he considers something. Pilots aren't paid much. Most of the time they're given just enough to cover a few expenses, a few personal items and that was it. They had room, board and room to train.

"Medical skills are badly needed, I am glad that your brother is doing well." A breath. "I could write to my brother, perhaps he could help him find additional scholarships?"

[fromfryingpantofire]

He pauses, considering that. There's a part of him that wants to say no, that they'd be all right on their own. But pilot pay had been cut again and again. They didn't really need the money since most things were paid for, but it makes getting Adam through school so much more difficult.

After a moment, though, Sam nods. "If he could help, that would be great. I mean, most of his schooling is already paid for with the scholarships he has. But he could always use some more to get room, board and his textbooks taken care of, you know?"

[redeemedhimself]

It was a show of trust on Sam's part, to allow him that much and Gadreel is grateful for it. After all, very soon they would have a test drift and know absolutely everything about one another. "Then I will message him tonight. After the drift. I am sure Gabriel will do whatever he can to make matters easier for your brother."

He was hardly conventional, but Gabriel was loyal to those that he cared about, to family. If Sam was to truly be his co-pilot, then in Gabriel's mind, that made him family. Most of the time Gadreel didn't quite understand his brother. But he loved him.

Their meal complete, Gadreel gathered up his dishes, nodding at Sam. Eager for the final test.

"Are you ready?"

[fromfryingpantofire]

Gadreel will soon see that Sam doesn't trust many people. But the fact that Gadreel doesn't have to see into his head for Sam to tell him things means that, yes, he does trust him. It's the greatest extension of trust he can give before they drift.

Taking a breath and finishing his coffee, Sam gathers up his dishes as well. "Ready as I'm going to be. Though I haven't gotten this far with anybody since Dean." It might break him if he has this torn away at the last moment. But the feeling from the kwoon room is still there. Gadreel is drift compatible with him. He just hopes that it's enough.

[redeemedhimself]

Most pilots were hesitant when it came to matters of trust. The drift is as raw and exposed as one can possibly be and sharing that doesn't come easy. Add in the danger of fighting kaiju that swim up from the rift and it makes for a fairly cagey bunch. But he knows that Sam is a good man. A good pilot and one that he could see himself in a Jaeger with.

Gadreel knows that he shouldn't trust to hope, but he can't shake the feeling as they walk towards the control center. He could close his eyes and know exactly where Sam was, his pace and how he took in his surroundings as they moved. A body in constant motion.

They were going to do this. They were going to drift.

[fromfryingpantofire]

In a lot of ways, Sam's just glad that he and his brother missed a lot of the 'rock star' era of piloting. It's not all gone away, of course. There are still toys of each Jaeger in the shops, most of them coming with action figures of the pilots. He'd once heard that the Archangel Sword with both Winchester brothers was a collector's item now.

Some part of him wonders what a pair of comeback pilots like himself and Gadreel might look like out there.

He shakes his head, losing himself in the familiar feel of a body beside his, knowing his steps almost as well as he knows his own. If it works, if they drift, he will know them like his own. It will almost be his own, after all.

Marshall Singer is in the control center when they arrive. "Better get suited up, boys. Can't do this until you are."

And that's when Sam has to take a long, deep breath. Because this is really happening. "Right. Well, then, I guess we get to split up for a little longer." Because they would need help to get into the suits. Especially since Sam knew that they both had to have been replaced.

[redeemedhimself]

The walk is easier to concentrate on than what was coming next. He could concentrate on the feel of Sam beside him, how he can almost know what he's going to do next. Another chance. He's going to get a second chance with Sam, Gadreel is certain of it.

And Sam isn't the only one taking in a deep, steadying breath. Suiting up. He hasn't put one on since the fall, since Eden had gone down. Gadreel gives him a nod, gripping his shoulder briefly. "Then I will see you soon Sam."

Even after all this time, Gadreel finds it easy to get back into the suit, to concentrate on the movement and not what's coming next. Focus on the moment. It works, at least until he sees Sam again and the breath catches in his throat.

They're really going to do this. Both of them getting a second chance.

[fromfryingpantofire]

It's strange, putting on the drive suit again. Knowing that it's not Dean in the other room that he'll be meeting. But it's exciting, too, because he's MISSED this. Like a missing limb, almost. Only almost exactly because he's been so used to Dean being an extension of him for so long.

The helmet shuts over his face and, surprisingly, he doesn't panic. He heads out, catching sight of Gadreel and pauses, watching him for a moment before grinning. "Ready to go?"

[redeemedhimself]

Putting on the drive suit is like wrapping himself in the embrace of an old friend. A feeling Gadreel never thought he'd experience again and when he sees Sam smiling at him like that - he can't help but smile in return, a warmth kindling in his chest as they ready themselves.

A test drift. Not in a fully powered Jaeger, but enough for them to link, to share their minds, a part of themselves. If it works, they'll be allowed to take a Jaeger out. A new one or even an older one, he doesn't care. If he can make a stand with Sam, then they will make a stand.

"Yes. I believe I am."

[fromfryingpantofire]

Sam grinned, turning toward the pod and nudging Gadreel's shoulder. "Left or right?" The right-hand driver was the one in command, generally, the lead in the Jaeger. Sam had always been the left hand with Dean and he didn't have a problem with it, so it would depend a lot on what Gadreel wanted. Or what damage might be left from the destruction of Eden.

[redeemedhimself]

Uneasily, his hand drifts up to his right shoulder. The damage had healed after Eden, but the argument had been made that his command decisions had been wrong - that he had been the reason for Eden falling and Lucifer breaking through. Shaking the worry off Gadreel nodded at the question. "Left."

He trusted Sam to lead, trusted him to take command of the Jaeger they were going to take into battle.

Funny how quickly it all comes back, as they settle into the pod and the connections are made. It was time. One more breath, a nod at Sam and Gadreel let the drift wash over him like a river. Flowing and easy.

[fromfryingpantofire]

There's damage on Sam's body as well, though he doesn't let it on. Gadreel will find out soon enough about the scars fried into his left side when the drive suit shorted out from the wash of Kaiju blood.

Stepping into place in the pod is almost like coming home. It's only all the way there once the neural handshake is initiated and the drift is established. He knows that Gadreel can see everything and he doesn't hold back. If this is going to work, they can't hold back from each other. They have to work in tandem, be one person or near enough.

So he lets Gadreel see everything: the house in Kansas where he and Dean started their lives, but which burnt down soon after the first Kaiju attack in the resulting panic inland. The first tests where his parents were found to be drift compatible with each other. They never loved him and Dean less for it, but they had less time afterward, leaving Dean to raise Sam mostly on his own. Then the tests that found the brothers to have some of the highest compatibility scores out there. Then their training and the first time they took Baby out.

The coma was a long, dark space where nothing much was. Sam didn't even remember the actual Kaiju fight except in flashes. He was lucky he wasn't brain dead.